Gain Control
by gorbash33
Summary: Sequel to Trouble Calling. Suze is trying to deal with the guilt she feels from that tragic day at Pauls, her improving shifter skills, and her attemps to live a normal teen life with her bf. We all know Suze cannot be normal. She must try and gain cont
1. unfortunate naps

Hello everyone I have returned with a sequel to Trouble Calling…I hope that those of you who read it, enjoyed it. If you have not read it yet and are looking at this stop now and start reading TC.

DISCLAIMER:

I own nothing. Meg owns Jesse and Suze and Paul and everything. I only own the ideas in my head…which is not really saying much…

So…I welcome you to…

Gain Control

A sequel to Trouble Calling

By Gorbash33

It has been a month since that day at Paul's house. The day when I thought my whole life was going to come crushing down upon me because I thought I was going to loose Jesse forever, and for good this time. Instead, my powers seemed to blast out of me and reverse whatever Paul was doing and have it hurt him instead. I know I should not feel guilty for Paul's current condition since he is the one who put the castostoma on Jesse to begin with, and he should have known when he did it that there would be some serious risks. Besides I was just trying to save myself, and not to mention save the man I love. It is not like I could just idly sit back and watch Jesse be sucked into oblivion. Still…I cannot help but feel responsible. It is for this reason and this reason only why I am currently where I am right now, just like I was the Thursday of last week, and really every Thursday since Paul went into his coma. At the hospital, in his room, visiting with him. Well, all right, visiting does not really work since he is not engaging in my conversation to him.

You would think that after all I have been through I would never want to keep anything from Jesse ever again. Well, I was planning on telling him about my weekly visits to Paul, I really was, but…I did not think that he would understand. I was right…he did not understand…at all…

"Susannah, what are you up to today?" Jesse asked me this morning through the phone as I was getting ready to head to the hospital.

I closed my eyes briefly as I was about to apply mascara because I hate not telling Jesse the truth and said, "Uh, well, I was planning on running some errands today."

"Errands? Really? What type, can I help?" Jesse asked in his deep slightly accented voice.

I frowned into the mirror I was looking into and said, "I really don't think you would have much fun with this…errand…" That was not a lie he would not have fun at all. It would probably be the last thing he would ever do willingly, in fact he would probably even get his legs waxed before he would ever go and see Paul. Hmm. That would actually be rather funny to see. "Jesse, have you ever considered getting your legs waxed?"

The other end of the line was silent momentarily and then I heard, "Excuse me?" in an extremely confused sounding voice.

I had to use every ounce of self-control within me to keep from laughing at his voice and I said in the most serious voice I could muster, "You heard me. Have you ever considered waxing your legs? Don't you ever get annoyed by the hair on your legs, I mean my lord I can hardly go two days without going insane by the hair…and you have gone…over 150 years!"

Jesse started laughing and said, "Querida, I promise you, my leg hair does not make me go insane….and if it did I would be in an even worse state than Edgar Allan Poe was in when he died."

This caused me to start laughing finally and I said, "Oh my, only my boyfriend would compare the bad effects of leg hair to the mental state of Poe."

"Yes, well we studied him in American Literature class and I must say, he is quite an interesting fellow. Anyway, back to our original discussion…what errands are you running?"

Damnit I thought we got past this with my crazy hair questions. I took a deep breath and said, "You are not going to be too happy with me, but I am not even going to try to make up an excuse to you anymore…please…just don't get mad at me, alright?" I was rambling like I always do, but I was in slight panic mode, so it makes sense.

"Susannah," Jesse said, his voice deepening even more and all signs of laughter was now gone from his voice. "What am I not suppose to get mad about?"

I bit my lower lip still looking into the mirror at myself and took another deep breath and said, "No. Promise me you will not get mad." I really wanted to be truthful with Jesse, but if he was just going to blow up at me, I did not see much of a point.

"Fine. I promise, not please tell me," Jesse said, already sounding slightly agitated.

"You already sound upset," I said in a pouty voice.

"Susannah…" Jesse said in a voice that said very clearly I will not put up with your crap right now.

"Fine, fine. I have been visiting Paul in the hospital ever Thursday since…that day." Before I could let Jesse get a word in I said, "No! You can't get mad! I know, I know it sounds really weird visiting someone I despise, even hate at time, but Jesse! He has no one! No one else has really visited him besides Father Dominic at all…for a month! Besides me. That is just sad. Even a devil-like thing deserves company." Jesse was silent on the other end of the phone so I added quietly, "It is only for about 15 minutes. I just see if there has been any change in him…ask the doctor how he is doing…say hi and leave."

"I do not know if I should be angry at you for doing this and never mentioning it to me or be proud of you that even after all that this person has done to you, you are still able to treat him like he is a human." I could hear him sigh and then he said, "I just wish you had not kept this a secret from me."

I looked down at my lap, even though Jesse could not see me, and I said softly, "I am sorry. I know I should have told you, but I was scared. I don't even know why exactly I go…you, know when it was all happening, I never wanted to see Paul ever again. I thought I would be happy if he died, but now I've realized that, yes, I may hate him, but I do not wish death upon anyone, no matter what. I cannot help but feel partly guilty for the state that he is in right now…" I knew Jesse would not like that last statement one bit at all.

"NO!" Jesse yelled through the phone. Yeah, I know him too well. "You cannot blame yourself at all for the state that Slater is in. He did it to himself because he was the one who tried to ruin your life and get rid of me. It just backfired on him."

I closed my eyes and tried to will away the tears that I felt welling up behind my eyes. "Jesse…I, I cannot help it…" A single tear fell which lead to the rest of them starting to fall. I started crying into the phone and said, "Jesse…I feel horrible."

Right away Jesse turned into his sweet comforting self, "If I were there I would wrap you in my arms and kiss away those tears, Querida. You are perfect. You only did what you had to do…it is called self-defense. If Slater was not so…demented then none of this would have happened." He paused for a moment and then said angrily, "Dios, even in a coma that boy is able to cause you pain. Maybe it would have been better if he died."

My eyes flashed opened and I shrieked, "JESSE! So not helping! Well, ok, maybe the holding me and kissing me would help…" I said with a small smile playing on my lips.

Jesse's voice went all silky as he responded with, "I would hold and kiss you any time anywhere…"

This made a huge grin appear on my face and I said, "Want to do something later today?"

I could almost hear the smile on Jesse's face when he said, "That is what I was hinting at. I will pick you up at 3:30."

"Good. I expect a lot of "comfort" for all the hardships I have been through lately." I said trying not to giggle.

"Your wish is my command," was Jesse's reply.

I laughed and said, "I am going to hold you to that, mi Amor."

"Adios, Querida," Jesse said.

I hung up the phone and rested my head in my hands for a moment. I cannot believe he did not get super mad at me for my Paul visits. I guess since Paul is slightly unable to 'visit' me, Jesse has nothing to worry about. I know I am idiot for caring about him at all anymore. A very small part of me still remembers the very brief time when he and I were actually friends. When I thought nothing but innocent, nice, _friendly_, feelings were coming from him. I really liked being his friend…but then he turned right back into his normal self, saying that it had all been a ploy. Everything with Paul Slater seems to be covering some plan or another to benefit himself. He is selfish and arrogant and basically just evil, and yet I still find myself feeling badly for him. The boy seriously has no one in his life. His parents have not even come in town to visit him, and its not like his grandfather could visit him.

So here I am, once again, sitting next to Paul's hospital bed. He looks so calm and innocent just lying on the bed asleep. His hair was falling ever so lightly in his eyes, and before I realized what I was doing I reached over and brush the hair off his face, lightly brushing his skin. I jerked my hand back, because even though I have visited him several times, I have never _touched_ him. It just…doesn't seem right. I sat back down quickly and stared at my hand trying to gain control of my nerves, but the quiet steady beeping of the machines that Paul was hooked up to was not helping that much. I looked around the room and spotted the remote control on the table next to Paul, the exact place I had left it last week. You see, even though I am only in his room for about 15 minutes, I just cannot stand the silence and stillness of it…I do not deal well with hospitals…it brings back memories of my Dad's death. I clicked the TV on and put it on a movie that was on and started to watch. I stared at the screen half watching the movie and half thinking about what Jesse and I were going to do on our date later that day. I glanced at the wall clock and saw that I was almost 1:00, so I had plenty of time to get back home when my visit was over and get ready. A small smile played on my lips as I thought about Jesse wanting to kiss me. That was the last thing that played through my head before I fell asleep.

"Excuse me, miss? I am sorry to wake you, but I have to give Paul a sponge bath and make sure his tubes are all still clean."

"Ew…" I mumbled still half asleep, but then realized what was just said and jolted awake. "What!" I said panicky. "Oh my god, how long have I been here?"

The nurse looked at me and said, "well I do not know, but its about 4:45 now."

Oh shit.

I jumped out of the chair and ran out of the hospital room and to the parking lot with the speed of light guiding me. Jesse will not be happy with me now…

A/N Alright then. That is all for now, tell me what you think!

Please review


	2. cheese cake

To the lovely people who reviewed thank you

AUTHOR NOTE: Well hello there all. So, I am well aware that I wrote the first chapter to this a long, long time ago. I do not know if anyone actually remembers me on this website, but hey, it is all good. This is chapter two of my sequel to my first fanfiction. If you have not read Trouble Calling, the first story, please do so now before continuing with this, otherwise it will not make sense. I hope you all enjoy this!

Chapter Two:

By the time I got home it was 4:58. I was in full panic mode because I knew Jesse would not be happy with me in the slightest. What if he thinks I care more about Paul than him? Which, by the way, could not be further from the truth, I just happened to fall asleep. In a not so good place. When I had to meet my boyfriend, whom I love. God, this looked bad. I burst through my front door and started to run up my stairs so I could throw on some decent clothes for Jesse.

"Suze…" My mom started to say to me when she saw my grand entrance into the house."

"Not now, Mom!" I yelled behind me as I continued to go up the stairs, "I am late!"

"I know…" I heard her say softly. I ignored her and ran down the hall to my room. I threw my room door open and it banged against my wall. I did not even take the time to think I could have cracked the paint or something. I rushed over to my closet to pick out an outfit, but my reflection in my mirror made me stop. My eyes widened and a look of disgust flashed on my face. My hair was all wind blown from running and driving and I just looked a complete mess. For reasons unknown to me this made my chest tighten and I felt the sudden urge to just start crying. I know, messed up hair is no reason to cry, but I think it was more that I was far from being ready for Jesse, which would make me even later, and the fact that I was late to begin with. He did not even want me to go visit Paul in the first place.

I grabbed the back of the chair for my desk, which is in front of my mirror, and my whole body just seemed to sag. The first tear broke free and ran down my cheek. "Damnit…" I muttered. "_Damnit_!" I repeated with more force and anger.

I thought I heard something behind me, so I looked up a little and in the mirror's reflection there stood Jesse. Ah. I see. My mom was trying to tell me he was waiting in my room. I stood up straight and wiped the tears off my face as I turned towards him. He was standing near me, but his leather jacket was sitting on the window seat, so I can only assume he had been sitting there. I took a deep breath and said shakily, "Jesse, I am so sorry…I fell asleep…and…" my voice cracked because I started to cry slightly again. Jesse had a look of hurt on his face, but I noticed that I started to soften as he saw the tears on my face.

He closed the gap between us and wrapped his arms around me. He sighed and said, "Querida, this is not fair. It is so much harder to be angry at you when you look so sad and pathetic." He then gently stroked my cheek and pushed my hair behind my ear. "Susannah, you look a mess. What happened to you?"

I fought back the urge to glare at him for telling me how horrible I looked at the current moment, but I figured since I basically stood him up that I would allow him to get away with it. This time. I tried to calm myself some by taking a deep breath before I said, "Jesse, I was just sitting in Paul's hospital room, and I turned on the TV so I did not have to sit there in the silence. The next thing I knew, the nurse was waking me up telling me that she had to give Paul his sponge bath."

A look of pure disgust crossed Jesse's face when I mentioned Paul's sponge bath. "Ew, gross, Susannah, I could have gone my whole life without hearing that last part."

He still had his arms around me and I looked up with him and actually smiled and almost laughed. "I said basically the same thing to the nurse, but I then realized how I had been asleep and I saw the clock…and I totally freaked out. And now, here we are."

Jesse let go of me then, his lips in a tight line with no sign of a smile or anything. He ran his hand through his hair like he does when he is frustrated and started to pace in front of me. "Yes. Here we are, and what are we to do now?"

I walked over to my bed and sat down. "Well," I began softly. "It is not like I was so enchanted by Paul that I wanted to stay there and not see you. I was really excited about our date, but I fell asleep." I then smiled shyly at him and said in a somewhat flirty tone, "But, I did fall asleep thinking of you…"

He stopped pacing and turned slowly towards me with a smirk on his lips and his eyebrow raised, "Really, now?" He walked over to my bed and kneeled down in front of me with his hands on either side of me, so I was captured between his arms. "And what did these thoughts consist of, Querida?"

Instead of answering him, I slid my hands behind his neck and leaned into him to kiss him. He smiled against my lips as I continued to kiss him. I pulled back and said, "That is pretty much what they consisted of."

Jesse stood and lifted me up with him. "Get ready," he said. He walked over to his window seat and sat back down. He picked up a random book I had left on the seat and started to read it.

I couldn't help but chuckle to myself. "Wow, this is like the olden days when you still lived here as a ghost. I hope you realize that the book you are reading is a historical romance novel for teen girls."

He did not even look up from the book when he replied, "Yes I know. I am almost finished with it. When you were late I just sat up here reading it, I cannot believe you own books like this! Do girls really go for these 'ruggedly handsome' Scottish types?"

I started going through the clothes in my closet trying to figure out what to wear. "Hey, I am a girl. I am allowed to read stuff like that, and besides you are the one who is still reading it! Addictive, aren't they? And yes, Scottish guys are hot, but do not worry my lovely Spaniard you are just as hot. Maybe even hotter." I said in a joking voice.

"Thanks, Susannah, I feel very loved right now. Are you sure I am hot enough for you or would you prefer me to talk like this?" He then made his voice, which already has a hint of a Spanish accent in it sound Scottish. "Aye, my bonny lass, I think ye would like me better this way!"

My eyes widened and I almost fell into my closet I was laughing so hard. The image of Jesse in a Scottish kilt flashed into my mind, which did not help my laugher at all. In fact it made me laugh even harder. "No, I think you should probably stick to your normal voice if you want me to ever take you seriously again, Jesse." I said after I finally stopped laughing.

"Good. It is quite difficult to talk like that. Are you almost done picking out your clothes? You are going to make us even later!" Jesse said, while he was still reading.

I sighed and said, "Well, I want to look perfect. What type of clothes should I wear anyway? Is this a casual date?"

"Well, I am wearing nice jeans and a button up dress shirt, so I don't care…I guess you would call it nice casual?" I looked at Jesse from where I was standing and observed his outfit choice. He was looking as handsome as can be in his dark jeans and black with little gray striped dress shirt. His sleeves were slightly rolled because he knew I loved it when he does that.

I finally decided on my black peasant skirt that goes right below my knees and a teal off the shoulder shirt and my black sandals. I then put on a long strand of black beads, and I kept my hair down and slightly curly so it fell nicely down my back. I finished off the look with my worn jean jacket. The look was very bohemian-rock. I exited my bathroom after I made sure my make up was just right and said, "Ok, I am finally ready!"

"Thank God, it took you long enough, Susa--" Jesse looked up from his book and trailed off what he was saying when he saw me. He started to smile at me and said, "Querida, you look…muy bonita!"

I blushed slightly at his comment and said, "Well, thank you, Jesse. I figured I owed you that much for being such a bad girl friend today." I pouted slightly at him when I said this.

He stood up and wrapped me in a warm embrace and said, "No, you could never be a bad girl friend. Let's get going, shall we?" He let me go and grabbed his jacket and put it on.

"Let's!" I said, taking his arm and exited my room. "So, what exactly are we doing?"

A mysterious glint appeared in Jesse's eyes as he said, "Oh, you will see soon enough. It is nothing too horribly exciting, but I believe you will like it."

This intrigued me greatly, and I was sure whatever he has planned I would love, since it would be with him. But even so, I still really wanted to know what we were going to do! "Ok, and before I feel too horrible, what you have planned won't be ruined by the fact I was so late?" Yeah, you cannot even begin to imagine how horrible I would feel if our day would be ruined because I fell asleep.

"Hmm, I could lie to you just to make you feel bad, but I think that would put me in the "bad boyfriend" category. But, no, seriously, we will be just fine. I just get to keep you longer to myself." He looked over at me as we neared his car with a grin that reached his eyes.

I raised an eyebrow suggestively and said in a flirty voice, "Oh, _I_ see. And what, my good sir, do you plan to do with me in this extended time period of togetherness?"

Jesse did not answer me. He just smiled and looked at the road as we drove away from my house and to an unknown destination. Only the destination did not stay a mystery for long because we soon arrived at the beach. I frowned slightly and said, "I did not bring my swimsuit or anything."

Jesse got out of his side of the car, went around and opened my door and held out his hand to escort me out of the car. "Don't worry, Querida. We are not here to swim. I have other plans for us." I have to admit, I was slightly confused, but I figured if Jesse planned it, it must be good. "Granted the plans must be altered ever so slightly, but it will work out just fine, I believe." He looked at his watch and then looked out towards the beach area. "Okay, so, it is nothing fancy, but I propose we should walk to the Chinese take out place to grab some dinner."

I slipped my hand back into Jesse's and smiled. "Whatever you say," I partly assumed that there had to be some reason why we did not just park at the Chinese restaurant instead of walking there. Not that I was complaining, the idea of taking a stroll with my man seemed so out of the movies romantic.

We arrived there and the smell of all the different types of food made my mouth water. "Oh man, I am so hungry, and I do love Chinese food!"

"I know you do." We walked up to the counter and he said to the man taking orders, "I placed in a take out order for DeSilva."

The man nodded and told us it would be several moments for it to be ready. I added in, "Oh! Can we have chop sticks also, please?"

When our order was up, the man placed a big, white paper bag onto the counter and said, "DeSilva, order is ready." Jesse grabbed the bag and took my hand again and said, "Ok, let's go."

I tried to grab the bag out of Jesse's other hand, but he held it out from me. "Aren't you even going to tell me what you ordered? I did not know you pre-ordered our food."

He laughed and said, "Do not worry, I think you will like it."

Well duh. It is Chinese food. I cannot help but like it. The question is: will I like it as much as some of the other dishes? I kept my mouth shut, though, because I knew Jesse would not tell me until we got back to…well…where ever we planned to eat. "Uh, Jess, where are we going to eat this mystery food? I assume the beach since that is where we parked."

"You assume correctly, but just wait. You are so impatient!" he said squeezing my hand lovingly.

"Yeah, but that is because I am hungry!" I whined.

We got back to the beach parking lot and continued onto the beach itself. By this time it was nearing 7:00 and the sun was just starting to show signs of setting. I was starting to get worried about where exactly on the beach we planned to eat because I defiantly did not want to get my skirt all sandy. My worries quickly vanished when I saw us nearing a big blanket that had a big picnic basket on it and beautiful red roses. Kyle was also standing there apparently guarding the spot. My eyes went wide at the sight and I said, "Jesse…is that…did you…do that?"

Jesse looked down at me and said, "Yes, I did." He then did the weird hand shake hug thing to Kyle and said, "Hey, man, thanks so much for helping me with this."

Kyle had his normal goofy grin on and said, "No worries, Jess-Man. Anything for you and your girl." He then winked at me and went on with, "But, hey, later dude and dudette. This is no place for the Kyle to be…you two love birds, you!" He started laughing and walked off with a wave.

I rolled my eyes ever so slightly as I watched Kyle walk away down the beach towards his old, beat up VW bus with his surf board strapped on the roof. He glanced behind him once again, and sort of grinned to himself as he reached the parking lot. I turned my glance to Jesse and could not help but wonder how exactly these two extremely different guys got along so well. Honestly, Kyle seemed more like the type of guy Jake would be friends with to go eat some 'za and ride the waves rather than cultural, intelligent Jesse. But hey, whatever, I am just glad Jesse has some guy friends, so he does not feel the complete need to spend all his time with just me. I mean, I do need to still spend time with Cee.

Jesse grinned at me and said as he opened up the bag of Chinese food and set my container of food in front of me, "We need to get Kyle a woman. I think it would do him some good." He opened the picnic basket slightly and pulled out a bottle of sparkling grape juice and two glasses. He began to pour me some and placed that in front of me as well. I tried to get a good look of what else was in the picnic basket but Jesse hid it from me view. "Nope, you do not get to see what is in there. It is all a surprise."

I pouted slightly yet again, but I could not hold back my happiness. I could not believe I was so lucky to have such a loving, caring boyfriend who would plan out such a nice evening for me. And to think, I almost completely ruined it by falling asleep at the hospital seeing the man who tried to destroy my life. I pushed that thought away and decided to instead focus on the delicious smelling food in front of me. I opened the container and saw it had my absolute favorite in it. Sweet and sour chicken with fried rice and an egg roll. I grinned at Jesse and said, "You know me too well! This is my favorite!" I grabbed my chop sticks and took a bite.

Jesse laughed and said, "Well, Love, it is what you get almost every time we order…it is kind of easy to remember that."

I was too content with my food to make some sort of remark back to him. Instead I took a sip of the sparkling grape juice and just sighed with happiness. Why couldn't every night be like this? We ate our food, not really talking a whole lot. The nice thing about being with Jesse is we do not really have the need to talk constantly. We have been through so much, both when he was a ghost and since he has been alive, that we have a great understanding between the two of us. Our bond is much deeper than most teens our age. When we had ate all the Chinese, Jesse opened the picnic basket again.

"Ooh! Do I finally get to see what is in the mystery basket?!" I asked with more excitement than was necessary. I was just so incredibly happy at the moment that every little thing that Jesse did seemed exciting.

He gave me a bit of a crooked smile and replied with, "Yes, Querida. Do not get your hopes up too high. It is just dessert." He then pulled out the most delicious looking cheese cake I have ever seen with freshly cut strawberries on top.

My eyes went wide, and I was partly tempted to just dive to take the cake. "Oh my God, where did you get that perfect looking cheese cake? That is my favorite dessert ever!"

He chuckled and said, "I know, love. And, I made it just for you."

"_You _made that, Jesse? I did not know you could bake so well!" Now I was waiting very impatiently for him to cut me off a piece of it. "Come on, let me have some!" I begged.

He cut a very large piece off and put it on a plate he also produced out of the picnic basket. He then took out two forks and handed on to me and kept the other for himself. He then used his fork and placed some of the cake on it and leaned over and placed it in front of my lips. "Open your mouth, Querida," he said softly, his voice a bit huskier than normal.

My eyes went from the bit of cheese cake in front of my face to look at his own face. I swallowed slightly, suddenly very aware of the fact that all I wanted to do was kiss him. I very slowly opened my mouth and leaned forward ever so slightly so I could put my lips on the fork. That cheese cake was just as delicious and perfect as it looked, and the fact that my man had made it just for me seemed incredibly sexy for some reason. After I had finished consuming that bit, I put my hand gently on his hand which was still holding the fork and pushed it down. I then leaned forward even more towards him and looked meaningful at his lips. "Kiss me, Jesse," I said in barely above a whisper. "Just kiss me."


End file.
